NOTE: Original post appeared in The Huffington Post (Click here) 

Picture"Shopkins" Photo credit: elasticcamel via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA
I am trying to keep my cool, but if she doesn't make a decision soon, I might just lose it! I am standing in the middle of a boutique toy store with my 7-year old daughter; We are buying a gift for one of her friend's birthday and she has just stumbled upon a jackpot of Shopkins -- a collectible series of miniature kitschy shopping toys with names like "Miss Mushy-Moo" (a mushroom) and "Beverley Heels Suzie" (shoes).

They have a whole television series on YouTube, and my daughter has just discovered the motherload of "Season 3" finds on our way to the checkout counter. She's holding two packages in her hands, seemingly identical but apparently what's inside is a total surprise (for my older friends, think collectible Baseball cards).  My daughter is frozen, trying to decide on whether to pick what's in her right hand or her left.  The 'not knowing' which Shopkins are inside is getting to her. She begs me to let her buy them both so she doesn't have to make a decision. I stand firm in my resolve that she must learn to let go of the control and to just "go with  the flow" of life and be happy with the surprises along the way. 

As she continues to grapple with this mounting decision -- I stand there and think about how this is such a problem for most of us. We all just want to know what the hell is inside! What are we bargaining for? What am I going to get for what I pay? Where will life take me if I decide to go down a certain path? Why can't we just know already how this will all turn out?

But that's just it....We can't. Life is so much about choosing between two options and then just being okay with what unfolds. This is faith. We all struggle with this one, don't we? No matter what religion we claim (or don't claim), faith is a part of our daily routines and lies deep within the inner walls of our subconscious. Having faith means you understand there is a deeper energy at work -- and regardless if you choose the right hand or the left, your course has already been marked because something deeper within you has already chosen the way.  This unnamed and unmarked beacon that guides and moves you is a bigger player than you, and there is nothing you can do to outsmart it so you just have to trust it, and go with it; you just have to have faith. 

In these moments, it's hard to relinquish the control, but the light always shines brighter when you do. Once we allow life to simply unfold is when we get to really discover what life is all about.  When we drop the daily struggle to choose between the right hand or the left, we are so much more open to the expansiveness that's waiting for us. Before we know it,  the Universe hands us a heaping helping of abundance that fills up both of our hands.

I can't seem to find the words to explain this to my 7-year old .... but I know this to be true as I navigate the journey through my 40's.  Knowing that there is a LIGHT that is the Captain of my ship makes the twists and turns along the way more enlightening, revealing, and remarkable. I no longer dwell on the things that didn't go my way. I see it more as a mere revealing of my particular path. That path IS my way... and it's the only way to go that will move me forward. Therefore, I have faith.


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XOXO,
APRIL

 
 
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I wrote something yesterday that I think is the intro/beginning/something to a book. It was very raw, emotional, personal, and just a little (a lot) scary. It made my husband cry. What I wrote has to do with FEAR. 

I think a lot of us deal with fear everyday. Fear is so rampant. Fear of failure, fear of money, fear of love, fear of success, fear of not being good enough, fear of being our true selves, fear of what others think, Fear.... Fear... Fear. 

I have been crippled by this. I know how devastating and debilitating this can be. 

But I also know how beautiful life can be once you name your fears (I personally call my fear The Devil because it helps me remember how evil fear is, and how badly I do not want it in my life)

I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to come take my fears away for a long time. He sent me a special message when he started sending me a word: LIGHT. 

I wrote about this "sending of the Light" on LIGHTbeamers when I first started my blog (Read original post here if you want to read how that word CHASED me, and God beat me over the head with it). But even then, I didn't have the words to fully describe it and appreciate it. I feel those words coming now. Another gift from God. 

I'm a few years in now on my personal journey to overcome these irrational, totally energy blocking fears and live my life more purposeful, intentional, and BIGGER. 

Do I have it all figured out? Um, hell no! 

But I do know that anytime spent in the darkness is scary. 

Yet living into the bright light can be even scarier because it means being vulnerable and truthful. That's why so many of us choose to stay stuck in the ruts!! It's easier and safer there sometimes. 

But that is no way to live, friends. If you stay there, what will your life look like 10 years from now? Where will you be? I'm in my mid-40's and I want these years to count for something! I want to do fun things, go to cool places, meet interesting people, experience amazing things!! I no longer choose to hide in my closet, crying because of my fears. 

There are times you just have to say F#^* this-- I am going to do life my way!!!!! 

And so, I am going to write a book and share with the world my darkest and brightest days. I'm going to write about Fear, and how the LIGHT can save you from it. 

And I am committed to building a Community of LIGHTbeamers who want to shine alongside with me!! The dark world needs us to link arms and do this work together! 

Join me! 
APRIL



 

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    Hi, I'm April and I'm glad you're here. 

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